A LETTER

My dear,
I’ll try to find only few words which could describe the whole me these days; my sentiments, my thoughts, my memories, my tendernesses, my melancholies, my joys, my rains, my sunshines, my rainbows, my moonbeams, my insomnias, my eagernesses, my desires, my furies, my aches, my skies, my nights, my stars, my deaths and my resurrections… though it’s going hard. Otherwise I will need ages (and you are already old enough ;-).

So, the truth is that I don’t think, but I surely know how good and strong you are. I went through terrible crisis and temptations past two months; I hated my disabilities, I was furious at my weaknesses, I avulsed pieces of my broken soul and I tried to send them to you, I was so mad at your cruel ignoring, but I was always more mad at myself. I hated the physical distance between us, I was absolutely angry at our awful circumstances, I hated your problems, but I was never angry at you, I never hated you.

I spent hours and hours talking and analyzing with my shrink, I starved to death; I upset and I made complete chaos at the family’s atmosphere, I meditated for days, I chalked with my pain, I brought my life to nothingness… And could you suppose what is my resume of all these things? The answer is: understanding.

I understand you. I always did. I understand every move you made, every step you took, and every word you said to me.